5 Ways To Improve Your Self-Control


“I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself.” ― Robert E. Lee
“I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself.” ― Robert E. Lee


Have you ever thought how do you fit in controlling emotional stress or How can you maintain self-control to become the effective leader? Being a leader you have to keep yourself under self-discipline when you are in public which may be difficult to be attained by many of us. How can you overcome this problem? Despite being listed at the last in the qualities by many in the world, self-control is no way less important than the others.

According to Robert E. Lee, “I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself.” He explained self-control in a single sentence. You will be observed by many, so if you fail to maintain control your words, thoughts and much more then you may not gain trust.

Improve Self-Control

There are 5 ways where you can improve yourselves:

1. Maintain your feelings and be committed to keep it under control.

2. Properly manage yourself. Before handling any situation breakdown every reason and properly analyze it. Always think before you act. Jumping directly to conclusions without any proper reasoning should be avoided.

3. Before taking any decision, consider the facts, go to the root cause of the situation and build mental strength to solve the problems without bursting.

4. Be honest and openly acknowledge each and every opportunity to deal with.

5. Apply stress management techniques; Physical and mental workouts will reduce your stress.

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Handle the Stress

Think how smartly you can handle the situation. Derive solutions with the logical part of critical thinking and whole brain thinking to get the clear picture of the situation and what circumstances caused it. Many times Stress is often caused by outside influences, so the best way to deal with it is, stay calm, understanding how you react and then deciding what you want from the situation.

Self-control will also help us to reject violence, avoid or overcome alcoholism, and deal more calmly with stressful circumstances. Of course, there is a significant difference between the normal negative emotions that are experienced by everyone and severe depression. The former do not, and these are the emotions we can learn to cope with.


Understand the consequences if you lose the self-control. Ask yourself these questions, will my retaliation help or will it hurt? Is there a better method to deal this situation? Count ten seconds in the meanwhile your anger subsides.

You can use technology as your anger manager. Please open your Gmail and type 1 to 10 numbers and undo them. It will at least take 30 sec meanwhile you will have suppressed the anger. It is one cool-down method that is easy to implement helps you settle.

We Can Control Our Thinking

“You cannot have an emotion without initially having experienced a painful thought.” Dr David D. Burns further states: “Every bad feeling you have is the result of your distorted negative thinking.”

True, it is easy to say that we can overcome our negative emotions. But it is something else actually to do it. Then how can we proceed to cope with these emotions that may cause us so much difficulty? Remember losing self-control is not strength but it’s a sign of weakness. Anger is nothing but like an an ice cube which will melt slowly when time is given.


Make the habit of keeping a sticky note ahead of you or in your pocket to remind you whenever you will face a similar situations and gaining self-control. Since your feelings are mainly a product of your thinking, the key to overcoming your negative emotions is to control the thoughts that support them. With sufficient effort and time, you can learn to bring your thoughts under self-control. It, therefore, follows that you can do the same with your feelings.


Written By: Muppasani Susmitha


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