I was at a cafe sipping on a hot cup of coffee with my friends when I happened to hear a lot of laughter from the nearby table. I expected to see a bunch of college kids like us laughing over something silly. What I hadn’t expected to see was a group of women, all in their forty’s, having the time of their lives. Though I did not want to intrude on their privacy, I couldn’t help but pick up bits and pieces of their conversation. A smile came over my lips as I guessed that they were all friends from school or college. At the same time, I began to wonder whether the friends I was having coffee with at the moment would turn out to be my true friends even after decades. Ever wondered what makes some friendships last a lifetime?
True friends walk beside you
It is important to understand the finer nuances of a genuine friendship. You cannot always expect your friend to do exactly as you say. You are not a leader. At the same time, you need not abide by everything your friend asks you to do. You are not a follower. You need to be on the same page as your friend. The best friendships are where there is transparency. Your friends will tell you how to cross rivers and climb mountains. Your true friends, on the other hand, will hold you up as you do it.
We have all had crisis situations. In such situations, we may have had many friends call us up to offer advice. We may also have had some friends acting as a constant reminder of how we should have dealt with the situation better. Was that all? Think again. Weren’t there a few others who made us feel like our burden was lessened after speaking to them? What about that friend who took a day off from her important schedule to come over and cheer you up when you most needed it? Such friends are those whom we need to keep close to our heart, the ones those who offer us unwavering support when we most need it.
If you feel that you have got the right set of friends, you would want to do everything you can to keep them. Along the way, you might discover that friendship is not a bed of roses. There will often come a point where you and your friend may argue and disagree on a number of things. This is not to say that true friends do not argue. As long as you keep your arguments at bay, it is healthy. You and your friend should develop a mutual understanding on how to deal with rising conflicts. Always remember that no issue is worth sacrificing your friendship for.
Love and Respect
You should love them for who they are and not base it on any terms and conditions. You should respect them for the person they are, even if it means they do not adhere to the same value and moral system as yours. At the end of the day, their happiness is your happiness. If they are happy, so should you.
Forgiveness and Compromise
Forgiveness and compromise should come naturally in genuine friendships. True friends do not hold grudges for a long time. Compromise a little, you are not going to lose anything. After all, to err is human, and to forgive is divine.
No two friendships are the same. Every friendship is unique. That being said, we can all agree that true friends will stay by you during the most difficult of your times, no matter what the hurdle may be. We may have friends who are going through a difficult period right now. It’s time to go out of your way to help that friend!
Written By: Mathews Regi