A person moving away from a place carries all sorts of memories with him/her; good & bad, sad & happy, celebrating & grieving. The more time someone spends in a place or with some particular people the harder it becomes to say goodbye. Goodbyes are very painful. But not even having the chance to say goodbye can be even more painful. Nevertheless, saying goodbye to the people and places we love is something that every one of us has to do at some point or the other. Be it saying goodbye to your parents when leaving home to attend school or college in another city, saying goodbyes to your friends upon graduating from college, saying goodbye to the one who you thought to be the love of your life or saying the ultimate goodbye to a person; we all have to do it at some stage in our lives. However the pain of farewells should not be the reason for not moving forward. The only thing that actually matters in life is the next thing and we should always be striving to better ourselves. That is human nature after all.
So Do Memories make a person Weaker?
But that leaves us with an uncomfortable question; should we just forget about our past as soon as we set out on the next venture? Absolutely not! Agreed that thinking about some of the happy memories of the past will make you sad but thinking logically it should be the other way around right? Thinking about happy things should make you happy! The famous American writer Theodor Seuss Geisel (a.k.a. Dr. Seuss) had a very apt quote for such situations. He said “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”. Memories should be a source of strength in leaner times and should make us smile. The late night birthday parties, those bunked classes and the resulting fun, your first date; all these thoughts should bring a smile on to our faces instead of making us dark and gloomy. And believe me when I tell that the choice lies within us as to how we let these memoirs and feelings affect us. Thoughts are fuel for the soul and it us within our power to decide if we want to use this fuel productively and help ourselves in being happy in rougher times.
But how does one do that?
Things are easier said than done and often bringing something to fruition is a lot tougher than just thinking about it. So is the case with Dr. Seuss’s quote too. Smiling and feeling happy about your past memories is not so easy when you know that you will not get the chance to experience the same thing again. People are more loss averse than profit seeking, i.e. we fear losses more than we look forward to gains and that is the source of all human misery! However, keeping in mind the following things should be of great help.
1. Be choosy with your memories. Let go of the sad ones, they only do you harm and do not deserve the brain space that you are giving them currently.
2. Thoughts make up a person. And happy thoughts make a happy person. Along with giving up the sad ones try to fill up your mind with as many happy recollections as possible.
3. Keep in touch with loved ones. Never let go of the slightest of chances to visit your parents or your best friend. Because in the end all you will have are your memories and your loved ones with you on your deathbed.
Written By: Prasun Jha