This is a quote by Jodi Picoult from her book, My Sister’s Keeper which reflects the universal reality of love. Love is not based on commonsense or logic. Nor does love makes an assessment of the person to know if he or she is suitable.
It is not like filling up a position in an organization. This is why we often find people in love, who may not have similar status or characteristics in life. If love is done after a lot of thought and decision making, then it becomes a business transaction where gains and losses matter.
Love is not Judgmental
One of the greatest things about love is that, it is not being judgmental. When we love people, we do not judge who they are, or what they do. Nor does one enquire which family do they belong to, or what is their occupation or business. Love never judges these external aspects.
Love comes from a kind and sensitive heart which has compassion for others. Love is the best of human emotion and human life would not have existed for so long without it. There are several forms of love. It is not seeking perfection in the other; else there would have been no love.
For it is a known fact that no human is perfect. A mother’s love for her children, a brother’s love, love for the country, love for people; all these do not look for perfection. That brings us to the next aspect of love.
A person who is being judgmental will never be able to love. People, who judge others, will never be able to love those persons. That is why there are so much ethnic, religious and political conflicts.
Being judgmental also means having prejudices. Prejudices affect our attitudes and beliefs. When there is prejudice, the feelings of love take a back seat. Being open-minded and liberal in nature is the anti-dote to these prejudices.
Love Means Acceptance of People as They Are
The reason love does not seek perfection, is because it does not look for perfection. In fact, love is beyond having certain parameters for it to exist. Love is all powerful and consuming. This is why there cannot be any love without acceptance.
Acceptance means accepting people as your own. When in love, acceptance of people comes naturally and without any riders or conditions. So there is no requirement and expectation of any wish or desire that people should have certain additional characteristics or qualities.
If there are expectations, then it means that there is no acceptance. This translates to mean that there is no love.
When relationships turn sour or love ceases to exist, it is always due to expectations. When people begin expecting, then it affects their feeling of love. Love begins to ebb as expectations keeps growing.
Love is all about giving unconditionally. When we love any person or our country for that matter, we think of giving more and more. Expectations are desires of getting back something.
When expectations dominate, then one begins to look for inadequacies. But when one is in love, even the imperfections, if acknowledged, are accepted.
Love is what makes the world go round. Love is not just an emotion; it is our very existence. In real world situations too, love makes a person more complete, it empowers the person to stand up for human values.
A compassionate heart which has love for humanity, and which accepts people with all their imperfections; is what the world needs for a happy future of mankind. Our future generations deserve a loving world that also respects imperfections among humans.
Written By: Priya Singh