Everyone’s first love has a special corner in their heart. “There’s no love like the first” says Nicholas Sparks, a well renowned American novelist and producer. And he is spot on. Many believe that first loves are the deepest and remain with a person throughout their lives. All our subsequent relationships are always measured up to our first one making it somewhat unfair. But it also teaches many that not every person who says they love you truly means it. For some it serves as an eye opener and they are exposed to some of the uglier sides of people. Nevertheless, a possibility of failure shouldn’t be an excuse to not try out something and it is this human nature that has been carrying us forward since time immemorial.
Why be Someone’s First Love?
Anything that we do for the first time has all the emotions and feelings with the activities at its peak. The first time you skydive is much more exhilarating than the subsequent times and you never quite fee the same thrill and fear again. So is the case with first romances. You experience feelings that you never thought you could feel towards another person. Be it a middle school romance, or a relationship in college; when Cupid strikes for the first time you can seldom think of anything else, such is the power that it holds over you. When you become the first person that your partner has loved, you become immortal in their memories since you were the first to bring them out of the closet.
Or be their Last
Being the first person in someone’s love life is not always in your hands but being the last person is! You need not look any further or anywhere else if you have found your perfect match. Even though the idea of a first love has been highly romanticised it is your last love which gives you what you wanted out of your love life. Since you already have the perfect person, why would you ever move on?
If you can be somebody’s last love, it shows you understand the person perfectly and you are in perfect tune with them. Practice makes a man perfect and it is over time that people realise what they want out of their partners and what are some of the qualities that they dislike. So, logically speaking being somebody’s last love sounds more logical if less romantic than being their first. So what should one be aiming for?
In fact, it does not matter
“A man wants to be a woman’s first love; a woman wants to be his last” observes Oscar Wilde. There is nothing wrong with either of the feeling. In fact the quote shows the exclusivity that people often want to associate with love and that is adorable in a way. But it is often not in our hands to fix ourselves in a particular chronological spot in the life of the person we love. Love happens and we should not be too focussed on at what stage we are appearing in our partner’s love life. Instead, what should capture more of our attention are questions like these:
- “Are we compatible with each other?”
- “Does my partner really care for me?”
- And most importantly “Is he/she getting me ice cream tonight?”
Just kidding there! However the point remains that the order in which we appear is immaterial and shouldn’t be given any second thought. What should matter is if you love the person and do they love you back? And that is where the questioning should end. Peace.
Written By: Prasun Jha